Someone once said, "The past is for reference, not for residence", and it is framed over my bed where I see it first thing each morning and last thing at night. Stemming from that, I make sure that I go back to the past just to celebrate, not to deliberate or commiserate, because there is nothing happening back there. The past is ONLY inside our heads, nowhere else, so we are the ONLY ones with the power to live in it or get rid of it. Let's repeat that again in case you missed it first time: YOU are the only one with the power to get rid of the past or to hang about in it. No one else.
If we are clogged up with the cobwebs of the past we cannot improve on them and make the present richer. The past often looks better when we lack confidence and are low in self-esteem because it allows us to ignore the moving times and be blind to what we do not wish to see. We hang on to a specific event, person or thing even though they are long gone, either for blame, or as a crutch for our fears or to prevent us taking action. It kills our confidence because we are not prepared for the real world. This pre-occupation with the past also allows everything in our small world to take precedence while we become ignorant and cynical of the world of others
Whether to do with relationships, family issues or our quality of life, we kill our confidence if we dwell negatively on the past by constantly dredging up painful memories or bottling up hurtful feelings. We really have to let go. Nothing positive is ever achieved by being trapped in the past because, while wekeep going over old things in our minds, the present does not really exist and we cannot plan for the future either. We would be too busy worrying and fretting about what has happened and what we cannot change instead of what we could do to improve things for the better. Hence why people who dwell on past things seldom achieve what they desire.
To surround ourselves with nothing but past hurtful things teaches us nothing new. However, it is guaranteed to kill our motivation, it makes us very unattractive to others and keeps us stuck in an ongoing rut. And, of course, the only difference between languishing in a rut of fear and being in a grave is six feet!
